Domestic Violence Survivor Guide

Domestic violence is a prevalent issue facing every community and it takes courage for a survivor to seek help. The North Suburban Legal Aid Clinic is dedicated to keeping individuals and families safe using the legal system and partnering with area organizations to combat domestic violence.

Sharing information with victims of domestic abuse and their allies in safe spaces helps to eliminate barriers to getting victims to safety. The Clinic has developed a Domestic Violence Survivor Guide pamphlet, which explains general information about domestic violence, the legal system, and a sampling of ways to find support.

The pamphlet contains general information about domestic violence, the legal system, and a sampling of ways to find support. A free plastic holder is available upon request.

The flyer directs those in need where to seek help through a QR code and the Clinic’s contact information. We encourage you to download a copy from this email or request multiple print outs from the Clinic.

Victims of domestic violence do not always feel safe reading information on a computer or simply don’t know where to access information. By offering the North Suburban Legal Aid Clinic’s Domestic Violence Survivor Guide and/or flyer in local public spaces might be able to help us reach an individual in need. If you, or you know someone who, may be interested helping us get this important information into the hands of those who need it most, please email info@nslegalaid.org.

In your email, please include which content you would like to host, your name, organization, phone number, address, and desired quantity. Questions? Please call us at 847 737 4042.

Emergency Order of Modification of Parenting Judgement Related to Stay-at-Home Order in Domestic Violence Case

Highland Park, IL – April 16, 2020 – Rebecca Weininger, Director of Domestic Violence Law Practice at the North Suburban Legal Aid Clinic (the Clinic), successfully obtained an emergency order in a domestic violence action related to Governor J.B. Pritzker’s Stay-at-Home Order (the Order). Weininger argued that one parent’s failure to abide by the Order while exercising parenting time with the couples’ minor child constitutes an emergency that the family court should consider and puts the child at risk, specifically the possible exposure to COVID-19. Disobeying the Order with a minor child violates the Illinois Domestic Violence Act and the parties’ parenting order. The Court agreed, granted the emergency motion, and entered an order requiring both parents to abide by Executive Order No. 8 effective immediately.

Client is the divorced mother of one child. Client believed her son’s life was at risk, as the child’s father was not adhering to the Order. Client came to the Clinic for the first time on April 6, 2020. Judge D. Christopher Lombardo, 19th Judicial Circuit Court at the Lake County Courthouse in Waukegan, IL, heard the case.

“Our client fully entrusted her son’s father to follow the Governor’s Order. When it became clear that her son’s life was in danger, she turned to the Clinic for help,” stated Weininger. “It is critical that each of us does our part to flatten the curve during the COVID-19 pandemic. We appreciate that this ruling will provide the safety and security that our client and her son deserve and makes a statement about the critical importance of the precautions that we have all been asked to take in this fast-evolving health crisis.”

The Clinic is an essential service. Based on public health guidance to limit gatherings due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, the Clinic is no longer seeing clients or guests at the office but is scheduling individual and family phone appointments for intakes, follow-up meetings, and court appointments.

VAWA Will Be On The US Senate Floor This Month

The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) was signed 25 years ago. The law changed the conversation about domestic violence as millions of Americans took gender-based violence seriously. It is also is credited for a dramatic decrease in the rate of domestic violence in the United States.

In April, the U.S. House of Representatives passed HR 1585, the bipartisan Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2019. Now it is time for the U.S. Senate to vote. They need to hear from you. Please tell them to VOTE YES.

This bill continues the critical programs that have helped reduce domestic violence and sexual assault over the last 25 years, and adds new programs focused on preventing violence, helping children and youth exposed to violence, and doing more to help victims from vulnerable communities impacted by these crimes. Reauthorization is critical especially with a new provision that is aimed at curbing sexual violence by expanding law enforcement’s ability to strip domestic abusers of their guns. This new language is especially important, even if it saves one life.

At the North Suburban Legal Aid Clinic, we provide access to justice to women who live in fear and danger. VAWA gives them crucial legal protections that they deserve. Domestic Violence Awareness Month is just around the corner in October. The timing is right for the U.S. Senate to follow the U.S. House’s lead and reauthorize VAWA with critical enhancements and no rollbacks.

Signs of Domestic Violence-Spanish

¿Qué es la violencia doméstica?

La violencia doméstica no es solo violencia física. La violencia doméstica es cualquier comportamiento físico, verbal, emocional o sexual que se utiliza con el propósito de obtener poder y control sobre una persona, ya sea un esposo/a, pareja o un miembro de la familia.

¿Quién puede ser víctima de violencia doméstica?

La violencia doméstica puede ocurrirle a cualquier persona de cualquier género, edad, raza, condición socioeconómica, educativa o de inmigración.

¿Qué tan común es la violencia doméstica?

1 en cada 4 mujeres y 1 en cada 7 hombres han sido víctimas de violencia física severa (por ejemplo, golpes, ardor, estrangulamiento) por parte de un compañero íntimo en su vida.

En promedio, casi 20 personas por minuto son víctimas de abuso físico por parte de un compañero íntimo en los Estados Unidos. Durante un año, esto equivale a más de 10 millones de mujeres y hombres (Coalición Nacional contra la Violencia Doméstica).

Signos de violencia domestica

Hay “banderas rojas” que sirven como advertencias de que la relación es abusiva. Los siguientes son algunos ejemplos de “banderas rojas” que demuestran una relación abusiva:

  • Abuso verbal
  • Celos extremos
  • Comportamiento extremadamente controlador y posesividad
  • Mal genio todo el tiempo
  • Sexo forzado; la victima es obligada o amenazada a hacerlo
  • Culpar a la víctima por todo lo que sucede
  • Degradar a la víctima en privado o públicamente
  • Jalar el pelo agresivamente, pateado, golpeado, cacheteado o tratar de estrangularlo
  • Impedirle que llame a la policía o busque ayuda médica
  • Lo llama nombres insultantes o critica severamente
  • Lo ha aislado de su familia o amigos
  • Su pareja exige sexo cuando a usted no le apetece; ignora sus sentimientos con respecto al sexo
  • La amenaza o impone violencia si no cumple con sus demandas
  • Le prohíbe que trabaje o le coloca restricciones en las horas que puede usted trabajar
  • Su pareja le roba dinero a usted o le prohíbe tener acceso a las cuentas bancarias
  • Utiliza las redes sociales para mantenerla vigilada
  • Le envía fotos y/o videos explícitos y también exige que le envíe de vuelta
  • Monitorea su teléfono constantemente, revisa sus mensajes de texto y registro de llamadas e imágenes

Señales de Violencia Doméstica

Violencia física o sexual puede ocurrir sin aviso.  Algunas veces, sin embargo, podría haber señales o “advertencias” de que la relación es abusiva.  Los siguientes ejemplos del comportamiento o personalidad son “señales de advertencia” potenciales para una relación abusive.

  • ¿Su pareja le hace bromas en una manera perjudicial y le dice que usted está demaiado sensible?
  • ¿Su pareja le llama con nombres como “estúpida” o “perra”?
  • ¿Su pareja actúa celoso de sus amigos, familia, o compañeros de trabajo, o le obliga a evitarlos o a no pasar tiempo con ellos?
  • ¿Su pareja se enoja y le obliga a cambiarse la ropa y los zapatos que lleva, se enoja por el peinado que lleva, y si se maquilla y cuánto maquillaje usa?
  • ¿Su pareja la checa llamándole repetidamente, manejando por donde usted está, o enviando a otra persona para que lo haga?
  • ¿Su pareja va a lugares con usted o envía a alguien para “verle”?
  • ¿Su pareja insiste en saber con quién habla por el teléfono, o verifica su registro telefónico o su cuenta de teléfono?
  • ¿Su pareja le culpa por sus problemas o su mal humor?
  • ¿Su pareja se enoja con tanta facilidad que siente que el piso se rompe?
  • ¿Su pareja golpea las paredes, maneja peligrosamente, o hace otras cosas que le asustan?
  • ¿Su pareja bebe alcohol frecuentemente o use drogas?
  • ¿Su pareja insiste que usted beba alcohol o use drogas con él?
  • ¿Ha perdido amigos o ya no ve a su familia por su pareja?
  • ¿Su pareja le acusa de estar interesado en otra persona o de engañarle?
  • ¿Su pareja lee sus correos electrónicos, revisa el historial de su computadora, su bolsa, u otras papeles personales?
  • ¿Su pareja esconde dinero de usted, le mantiene en deuda, o tiene “secretos de dinero?”
  • ¿Su pareja le ha impedido encontrar trabajo, o le ha causado perder la perdida de trabajo?
  • ¿Su pareja ha vendido su coche, le ha obligado a entregar su licencia de conducir, o a no reparar su coche?
  • ¿Su pareja amenaza con hacerle daño a usted, sus hijos, su familia, sus amigos, o sus mascotas?
  • ¿Su pareja le ha obligado a tener sexo sin su consentimiento?
  • ¿Su pareja le ha obligado a tener sexo de maneras que no quiere?
  • ¿Su pareja amenaza con matarle o matarse si se va?
  • ¿Su pareja es “dos caras,” actuando de una manera frente a otras personas y de otra manera cuando usted está sola?

Si usted prefiere hablar con un defensor de violencia doméstica por el chat, por favor haz clic aqui.  Asistencia está disponible en español 12:00 PM – 6:00 PM C.D.T. todos los días.  

Recursos Adicionales

Tutor Público del Condado Lake

Keith West

169 N Lake Street

Mundelein, IL 60060

(847) 566-7700

Signs of Domestic Violence

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is not just physical violence. Domestic violence is any behavior that is physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual used for the purpose to gain power and control over a person whether it be a spouse, partner, or a family member.

Who Can be a Victim of Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence can occur to anyone of any gender, age, racial, socioeconomic, educational, or immigration status.

How Common is Domestic Violence?

1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence (e.g. beating, burning, strangling) by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. For one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence).

Signs of Domestic Violence

There may be signs or “red flags” that serve as warnings that the relationship is abusive. The following are some examples of “red flags” that make for an abusive relationship:

  • Verbal abuse
  • Exaggerated jealousy
  • Extremely controlling behavior; and possessiveness
  • A bad temper
  • Forced sex; threatened or obliged to do it
  • Blaming the victim for anything at all that happens
  • Accusing the victim of flirting or having an affair with others
  • Control of what the victim wears
  • Degrading the victim privately or publicly
  • Hair-pulling, kicking, hitting, slapping or choking
  • Impede you from calling the police or seeking medical help
  • Name-calling, insults, or constant severe criticism
  • Your partner has isolated you from your family/friends
  • Your partner demands sex when you don’t feel like it; ignores your feelings regarding sex
  • Threatens or imposes violence upon you if you don’t comply with their demands
  • Forbidding you to work or placing hour restrictions that you can work
  • Stealing money from you or prohibiting you from accessing any bank accounts
  • Utilizes social media to keep “tabs” on you
  • Sends you explicit pictures and/or videos, and also demands you send some in return
  • Monitors your phone constantly, checks your texts, call log, and pictures